when i misunderstood girls

i had heard that the worlds thinnest book is 'WHAT MEN KNOW ABOUT WOMEN'.but genius me ....i have found a thinner book 'WHAT I KNOW ABOUT GIRLS'.I cant even understand the signal they give.last time when i was talking to a girl{that was about a long time ago.....you dont get an opportunity to talk to a girl daily.many be some of you lucky ones are more lucky}....so the girl while leaving said "KEEP IN TOUCH".i thought she wanted me to touch her a**.oh god..the only lesson i learnt that day was that girls are no longer weak.they attend karate classes too.oh god...you should ban karate for girls.

a similar problem occured when a girl said "you are a very sweet guy you touched my heart"
.poor me .my fingers were stopped in mid way.girls should not use the word 'touch' .....its so confusing.and i learnt one more lesson:not all girls are karate experts but it doesnt mean they are less dangerous.

the nearest i ever went to having sex with a girl

well...since i have shared with u all some of my worst kept secrets,its time to share one more secret.i was talking with this hot girl {in my dreams}for nearly a week now.....then i had a dream catcher near my bed.........and i must tell you ,the dream catcher was really effective...i saw her daily in dreams.so one day i gathered all my courage.....and watched meg ryan's "COURAGE UNDER FIRE"...brought four chlor mints{i couldnt gift that to the girl.......nor the shopkeeper would refund it..........OH GOD love is so costly}.this is our conversation:



i:do you know about "SAPIR -WHORF HYPOTHESIS"

She:'whats that'

i:'its a theory that the language you speak has an important effect on the way you think'

she:'so......what'

i:'can you speak the language of a dog'

she:'no'

i:'it means you dont think like a dog'

she:'yeah .......so'

i:'we both speak the same language.......english....it means we both think in the same way'

she:'so'

i:'people who think in the same way should live together'

she:'oh my god.....i should have been home one hour earlier.bye'

AND WHEN SHE WAS TURNING I ACCIDENTLY TOUCHED HER HAND. AND THUS FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I TOUCHED A GIRL.

some more one-liners

the list continues:
*"the similarity between you and nokia batteries is that both are hot."
and even the iron rod with which she tried to kill me was hot.

*"life is not a bed of roses but with u in bed even thorns are great"
i neither got the roses nor the bed but the thorns

*"if i were tom and you were jerry i would chase you all day and we both would be naked"
her brother chased me and tore my clothes.

*and now the only one liner which was successful to some extent:
"I LOVE YOU"
That has been said 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000's of times.what do girls find in this line?

SOME ONE LINERS I WROTE AND USED

These one-liners are written by me{may be thats why they met disastraous consequences}.just like W.W.E cumes with a warning"NEVER TRY THIS AT HOME"........my warnings to u all:"NEVER SAY THESE BEFORE A GIRL"

SOME of these one liners are:
*if'2' would mean"i",'0'would mean"love",and'7' would mean"you"then this year '2007'means "i double love you"
the girl on whom i used this great ol seemed to be weak at maths.at least i didnt said i love double girls...or2 girls.
*'if you become topless traffic will stop.why dont you be a traffic inspector'
that girl was searching 4 a job.the employer turned her away and in her turn she kicked me away.
*"if you were sperm cells.........i will never have sex with u.coz i am afraid to lose you"
that girl never had sex with me.
*"had you been a bird i would be the worlds greatest ORNITHOLOGIST"
I EVEN GIFTED THE GIRL oxfords dictionary to know the meaning of ornitholigist

my failed experiments with girls

well...after a changed attitude i approached the first girl,whose name was........well i never got a chance to know her name.i did some research and i found that she was a fan of rey mysterio the wrestler.so i decided to cash the situation.....and send her this mail:
"if '6' would mean 'i','1' would mean'love'and '9' would mean 'you' then i would hit 619 to you"

this was the first original message i sent to any girl.the result:her brother{who looked like randy orton}almost hit me an rko.but i forgave him coz they say
"to rko is human to forgive divine"

the lesson of the story:"never send a love mail at ur girlfriends brother email id.do some reasearch and find her unique id.

a virgin ..2day..2moro not 4 ever

i am a virgin.and i am certainly not happy at this.i have tried hard to be a hardcore.i win a girl in 30 minutes and then lose her in 30 seconds.why god whyyyyyyyyyyyy?is it because i dont pray?or coz i dont bathe daily?or something else?my last girlfriend {she was not my gf in the sense that i could kiss her. but coz she was my friends gf.and a friends friend is a friend.....isnt it}said that "the problem with u is that u dont know how to talk with girls"

when it comes 2 talking with girls i depend totally on oneliners i steal from.......{i cant tell u my source.its the only thing i have}.i know i will have to change my approach.u cant say these to girls"baby were u born in desert .coz u r so hot"every one has heard that.

so i decided to write my own one liners.